[x]CURRENT
[x]ALBUM
[x]EXTRAS
[x]DESIGN
[x]HOST
to whom it may concern.. dear friend dear friend,
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
makin a comeback.
so it's been yearsss since i last wrote post. time flies, shit happens, things have changed. for this past few yrs i've gone thru a lot, learnt a lot, gained and lost meaningful things. but what's past is past, now i have a different life. i'm not quite the same as who i used to, my beliefs may now differ, i have different expectations of things.
school life and workin life is totally different. and life as a workin adult, totally sucks. i mean like, yes, u get ur own money to spend on stuffs, but at the end of the month, when ur budget's really on the low..ooohh..that's not cool man. then there's another thing bout the workload. just because the seniors are leaving like nobody's business, the sisters put pressure on us junior nurses to match up to their standards. like, hello, they've had yearsssss of workin experience to back up their knowledge. i've barely been a full-fledged nurse for a year. how can they even compare us to seniors??
but i'm not here to talk bout work. or rather, only work. the stress at work, is not the only thing that's been buggin me. my new relationship, as happy as i am bein with him, is not as fantastic as i thought it would be. i mean, i do love him, a lot. more than i've loved my ex, i daresay. but there are still things that we lacked in our relationship. time to commit, for his part, and honest for my part. i've been doin stuffs behind his back, when he didn't really do anything wrong. it's just that the lack of time spent with him, makes me turn to other ppl for company. i'm goin out with another guy whom i shouldnt be meeting, i've been drinkin, clubbin, and he doesn't know it. i just don't know whether i should stop. wait, hold on. i know i should stop, but i don't know if i wanna stop.
i think the problem is, i don't really know which guy i want. bummer.
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 9:57 AM ~~
******
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
knock knock knock
after months of waiting, sum1 finally knock, knock, knock on my door. i pray to God that this new relationship will last long. praying for forever is impossible. hahah.
i still need to learn to really love him. i cant force the feeling. i just hope i'll love him more as we go along.
other than that, i feel so cheated.
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 12:04 PM ~~
******
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
arghhh..something dun feel rite man..one night without e late night call feels weird. blame him for extending last nite's call till after four am. n he still dare say it's my fault. "it's very addictive noe..talking to u..i dun wana put down phone sia.." yah3..my fault meh? bluekk. but i was very impressed when he sang frankie j's obsession e spanish version. soo coooool. haha. but he can't stay up late lahh..i noe he can't. he's been forcing his eyes to stay up late for e pass few weeks..fer wat? to talk to me. sweet, no? n shud i feel guilty? i dunno..=p
aniwaes, poor him. got test tomorrow..so i guess he needs his sleep. well..sleep tite n sweet dreams...Zzz...
gosh i hope he dun read this.
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 12:14 AM ~~
******
Sunday, August 14, 2005
wat is this tt i'm feelin? hurt? disappointment? just because he didnt keep his promise? but then again, did i myself keep my promise? at least he was brave enuf to tell me dat he broke it. but me? didnt wana disappoint him, or just too cowardly too admit? hah..again, questions n no answers. damn. think my guilt is overpowering.
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 1:44 AM ~~
******
Saturday, August 13, 2005
u entered my life unexpectedly.
showering me with warmth n affections,
u made me feel appreciated.
for once i felt needed, cherished, important.
u are like no one i've ever met.
the way u talk n laugh,
that way ur eyes gazed down on me.
those conversations we made, i'd never forget them.
those frequent calls, yes it was worth my time,
and i'm never too busy for a chat.
we are so much alike,
yet we are two different individuals.
we hev da same sentiments,
yet our mentalities n beliefs differ.
u came to me as a friend.
someone to share a joke or some troubles.
but now i feel something more.
more than a friend should feel.
is it me or is it u?
were u just being friendly,
n i misinterpreted ur gestures?
or are our feelings mutual?
please or please, won't u come clean with me?
tell me ur feelings n tell them true,
so i can draw a line between friends or more.
so i will know if my feelings are reciprocated.
i really dun wanna hope.
i've been hurt time n again just because i hope.
but i'm just a girl, can i help it?
to have dreams n hopes, desires n wishes.
so dear, dear friend,
won't u be more than just a friend?
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 6:50 PM ~~
******
Sunday, August 07, 2005
this is all wrong. soooo wrong.
this whole time, i've been looking at it the wrong way. i guess i'm just like any other gurl. makin the same mistake: hope. we gurls hope too much. we expect too much from that someone whom we feel for. when we know that in the end we'll be the ones who'll get hurt. sometimes i wonder, did God made us female emotional beings, that we are made to feel more affections than others, or just to be hurt? i mean like really, u can see gurls crying here and there in public. but do u often come across guys who actually cry for their loved ones? people may say, gurls just like the attention. and guys hev feelings but they just dun show it..nak control macho..but do they reali? do guys reali hev feelings? they keep sending us the wrong signals but they claim not to know it. then it'll be our fault when and if we misinterpret it. or is it? whutever lah. i knew i was ryt..i should remain 'can't be bothered' with these stuffs...these..these BGR thingy.
help me. i'm tryna save me from myself. i dun wanna fall into that bottomless pit where i'll cry in despair for the one i love, for the one i want, that very one person whom can never be mine.
pardon me if this entry sounds sexist.
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 10:30 PM ~~
******
Saturday, August 06, 2005
nyahahahahah! we celebrated dearest Ana bdae last nyt!!! woooohoohoo!!! we managed to pull off da surprise party..wakaka. so for those hu was not in da planning committee, here's da whole story. i solemnly swear that i am up to no good....
Plan A; Scene 1, 040805:
me n sue met up to draw up a plan for da surprise party. we've been talking bout it but hevnt reali made any action. so we met at McD back at tampines afta sch. fid came too. and so da plan was: on ana's bdae, she'd finish sch at 6. fid would surprise her by picking her up from sch, distract her from coming home while da rest of us went to her home to get everyting ready.
ahaha, we even gang up with her mom.wheeeeee! so we ended da meeting with buying her presents and ordering a cake.
Scene 2, 050805, Date of Implementation:
so da BIG day came. we went to sch as usual. still pondering on wat food to buy. then sue suggested that i go buy bonesteak at beach road since i finish earlier. so that evening, each of us were given tasks to accomplished: fid was to pick ana up from sch, sue pick up e cake, i was to go to beach rd den meet sue, nesah, nawwa n dan at tamp, then we proceed to ana's place.
Plan B, 050805:
lyk any other plans, this was no foolproof plan. due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to make some last min changes. sue forgot to bring bdae card n presents, so nesah were to fetch it from her house den meet us at ana's, done. i bought bonesteak from beach road, done. the problem came in when fid ran late. so i as the master planner, had to do sumting. fast. sue suggests dat i make ana wait at city hall with wateva reasons, as fid can only reach city hall in tym if ana were to finish at 6. so i tried to ask ani[hu's in sch with ana]to make ana board da train at city hall. but ani cudnt make it. dat's when we bring khal into da plan. i sms-ed ana, telling her to meet khal at city hall, saying dat khal has sumting to pass to me, but i cannot make it. hahah.
Back to Plan A:
at last ana finished late. in the end, fid could make it to redhill mrt on tym. but i forgot to tell ana dat she dun hev to meet khal! haha..n she called khal! so khal told her dat she couldnt make it n hev to go home straight. heheheh. so by this tym, sue nesah khal nawwa dan n me was waiting for fid to bring ana home. the party became merrier when ana's aunt n uncle came with grandson ahmad ashraf. n her cuzzin abg asa came too. followed by kak ima. all the merrier..muahaha! e wait was boring...fid brought ana to dunno-where and reached home at ard 9.30pm. by dat tym ana had alredi received numerous calls from her parents asking her to go home straight..ahahaha, great acting makcik n pakcik!
Aftermath:
well the surprise was not quite over yet. we made ana sent us to her void deck. where we sabo her with water bomb! we acted as if we wanted to pose for a picture, except dat we had waterbombs ready in our hands. the unfair part was, i got wet as well! hmmph! n i had to take bus home u noe..actuali i cud hev walked home, but it was quite late n i was lazy. haha. so all of us dispersed a lil afta 11.
so yah..there u hev it. e surprise party was a success! we couldnt hev done it with one person less. so i would like to give credits to:
- sue [for working hand-in-hand to pull e party off]
- nesah [for acrificing ur beauty sleep]
- nawwa [for all the laughter]
- dan [for putting the balloons in place]
- khal [for being there at last!]
- fid [for fetching ana back from sch n distracting her from home]
- zack and everyone as well [for the $$ contribution]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANA!!!!
mischieve managed ;)
~~ astral ..aStRaL sPoUts.. ¤ 1:03 PM ~~
******