i've been thinking and thinking. do i really want this no-strings-attached relationship? i've been feeling insecure ever since i agreed on it. yes, it feels like i DO have a real boyfriend. but this kind of relationship means that he can leave me anytime he wants. and when he does, what will i do? i think i've indulged too much emotions on this relationship, not time. at least if we had taken our time to learn to love each other, i'm sure he would have had SUFFICIENT time to get over his ex TOTALLY. i feel exasperated. is it just my pms or am i really at my wits end, thinking too much? do i really love him? do i even know what love is? too many questions are playing in my head, but i can find no answers among them.

i think i have been too patient. i've never held grudges against people. i put others above myself. and i always suffer in the end. where did i go wrong? is being selfless such a bad thing?